Week 39

We are in single digits now until Henry's due date.  Such a strange and exciting feeling.  Before I get to my weekly update, I want to share a Mother's Day moment I experienced today.

The past month and a half, Piper and I have been going on walks in the evening.  It has helped give me whatever endurance I can, makes the dog tired, and I think it has allowed my pregnancy to progress nicely. Well, our house sits by an elementary school track with a cow pasture right beside it.  As Piper and I walked up to the track tonight, I noticed a mama cow and her calf.  The calf couldn't have been more than a couple days old as it was still wobbly on its feet.  As the calf got closer to the fence, the mama would nudge it to redirect it towards the rest of the field, steering it in the right direction.

While I watched, my attention was drawn to the transmission tower that runs through the field.  On the transmission tower sat probably 30 vultures (no joke).  It was honestly a little creepy.  The vultures followed the calf with the position of their bodies, while the mama cow walked closely behind the calf.  The calf wandered to a wooded area.  As soon as that happened, the vultures started to fly down to the wooded area.  Over the next couple of minutes, about 15 of them made their way down to the trees or to the ground within 20 feet of the calf.

All the while, the mama cow stood her ground between her baby and the vultures.  I watched in amazement as she would turn and charge any vultures that got too close.  She wouldn't let them come close to her baby.

That really got me thinking.  Vultures to me represent uncleanliness, sin, and death. The entire time Piper and I walked around the track, I thought about how I want to be like that mama cow.  I want to steer Henry in the direction he should go: away from danger and towards the safety of the Cross.  I want to stand between my Henry and the sin of this world.  I want to protect him from evil.  I want to show him how to defend himself against what this world and Satan will throw at him, and when he's old enough, to let him fend for himself and rely on what Brett and I have taught him.  Just like that mama cow and her baby calf. 

Sometimes I still don't feel like a mama, even though I have been carrying this baby for 9 months.   But tonight, I felt God placing a maternal instinct for Henry in me for the first time (to be completely honest).  It's a good thing too because I think Henry may come before the end of this week.  We almost went to the hospital this morning because I was having a lot of contractions, but they weren't regular enough to warrant a trip where they would just send me home.

Keep us in your prayers this week, and in particular, that we would have the wisdom to know if and when to head to the hospital.

Hope you enjoyed my Mother's Day story and the update (where Henry has dropped some more, even if you can't tell).  And Happy Mother's Day to all you beautiful mommies out there!

Why I Prayed for Morning Sickness

So I said earlier that I would write a little more about my miraculous non-issue with morning sickness.  I mean miraculous in the truest sense of the word: a miracle from God.  As you may have read or know, I get the side effects of most medicines, and my body never reacts "normally" to changes.  I assumed that I would have terrible bouts of morning sickness. It was a given to me.

I wasn't feeling how I thought you were supposed to feel in your first trimester.  No morning sickness, just bloating.  I got paranoid.  Why wasn't I feeling pregnant?  I started searching the forums to see what other women were thinking.  BAD idea.  It seemed like women who were feeling a lack of symptoms said they eventually had a miscarriage.  Or maybe those were the only ones I was keying in on.  That notion, in combination with us knowing quite a few people who have gone through the loss of a child, just made me more worried.  (NOTE FOR FIRST TIME MOMS-TO-BE: stay away from community forums. If you have a question, go to a medical professional, not a woman who is riding on the emotional roller coaster that is pregnancy.)

I've often heard that morning sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy.  Almost like the more miserable you feel, the healthier the pregnancy.  Ironic, huh?  So, I started praying for morning sickness. I prayed that God would allow me to have morning sickness so I would have assurance that Tot was still growing and developing.  That I would KNOW that I was pregnant, not just rely on believing and trusting that I was.

God said no.

It's a no that I was mad about at the time, but one that I am thankful for now.  My thankfulness is hardly about not being glued to the toilet.  It is so much more. I have a hard time with trust and belief.  My logical, analytical brain likes to see (or in this case feel) evidence.  Even after our first appointment where we could see our little 6 week, 5 day Tot, I had no "real" evidence that I could feel the the first trimester to affirm that Tot was still there. 

God forced me to trust that He had everything under control.  That even if we had a miscarriage, He was sovereign over our little one's life and has a plan that I can't understand (Isaiah 55:9).  Once I came to that realization, trusting came easier.  The worry started to subside.  There were definitely still moments when felt paralyzed by doubt, but it didn't consume my every thought. 

I started the process of handing our little Tot over to the God who has numbered all the hairs on Tot's head (Matthew 10:30) and has all of Tot's days written in His book before one of them will ever be (Psalm 139:16).  It's an on-going process, and one that will probably continue Tot's whole life, but it is one that is shaping me into more of who God wants me to be.  It's a journey that I will struggle through, but I know it will be worth it.

Blown and Tossed

As I sit here writing this post, there is a storm rolling through Holden Beach.  It woke me up at 5:30 this morning.  The thunder continues to boom and the wind howls past the bedroom door leading to the deck.  I look outside and the waves are building, crashing, the receding back into the ocean.

I just started doing Beth Moore's James study.  How fitting to be at the beach when I read the following verses:

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." James 1:5-6

One of the things I struggle with the most is doubt/worry.  I doubt God always has my best interests in mind.  I doubt he is good all the time.  I doubt he will answer prayers (even though I know in my head that "No" is an answer).  It's a constant battle to remind myself that God is good and wants to bless until my cup overflows.

Looking out the window to see these waves made the verses above hit home.  I don't want to be blown and tossed by the wind.  I know what it feels like to be so unstable, and it's exhausting.  James 1:5 says all I have to do is ask God for wisdom, and it will be given.  He won't laugh at what I ask for, nor will He scorn me for it.  He will give it generously.  However, there's a catch.  I must believe that He will give me wisdom.  There can be no hint of doubt.

Oh God, give me faith to believe.

Necessities

A couple days ago before going to sleep, I found out we were under a tornado watch. Now, one of the sins I struggle with is worry/anxiety.  Given that I had no way of figuring out if the watch would turn into a warning while sleeping, I was dozed off and on until 3 a.m., at which point I checked my weather app and saw that we were no longer under a tornado watch.

While I was struggling to fall asleep, I thought about which room we be most safe in if a tornado were to come; it would probably be the master bath or the guest bath, although the master bath is more in the middle of the building.  That spurred the thought process of what I would bring with me so that I could "save" it.  What were my most valuable possessions?  Here was the list I came up with:

• My Bible.  I know it's easy to get another one but my primary Bible was from my parents on my 21st birthday and has my full maiden name engraved on it.
• My laptop and external hard drive.  I have to save all the thousands of pictures I've taken over the years.
• My phone and charger.  We probably wouldn't have electricity if a tornado actually came through but it would come in use later.  The phone is to make sure everyone knows we're ok.  Funny that I don't have anyone's phone number memorized now that they are stored on the phone and not in an actual address book.
• Water and munchies. I think food and water are pretty obvious necessities.
• Glow sticks/matches/candles.  My dad gave me a whole bunch of glow stick which may be better in this situation.

This is the list I came up with.  I think it sort of shows where my priorities lie.  I am wayyyyy too technology dependent.  I also realize that most of what I have isn't a necessity when it really comes down to it. What are your necessities?  What does your list say about you?

T-Minus 3 Days: Make Time

I will be the first to admit that I have not read my Bible nearly as much as I should during our engagement.  I easily got caught up in the wedding planning stress.  Like a lot of people, my diligence and intensity with which I read my Bible goes in cycles.  Even though you would think it would be the opposite given where I am in my life, I got sucked into wedding planning and am on one of the downward slopes with the time I've put into my relationship with God. 

I don't know about you but I can tell when I haven't been feeding my mind with Truth.  I get irritable, easily angered, and impatient. I worry and become fearful.  Those qualities are not good to begin with, but they are even harder to deal with during an engagement (for Brett and my family). 

I've known this was a problem but I thought my upcoming wedding was more important.  I had pushed to the back of my mind the truth that if I'm not right with God, I can't be the wife that He desires me to be nor the wife that Brett deserves.  This morning, I wanted to change that.  I started my day by reading my Bible.  I know it's only three days until the wedding but it's better now than later.  I feel more at peace today.  It's amazing given the level of stress I've been feeling.

Reading the Bible isn't something that I should have to "make time" for.  It's something that should be first on my list followed by everything else.  I know with today's world, everything moves so fast and there never seems to be enough time.  I need to be intentional about setting out some time to work on my relationship with God.  Hope you'll join me!

3 days!!!

On Repeat: It is Finished

As Easter approaches, I'm trying to think about what actually happened almost 2000 years ago and its effect on my life.  Often times, I don't really reflect on the meaning of Easter, that Jesus willingly died on the cross, experienced separation from God because he took on my sins, and defeated death by rising on the third day, allowing a way for me to be in relationship with God.  I think as a society, we don't like to think about bad things happening to people.  When I reflect on the Cross, I have to admit my sinful nature, which is sometimes hard to do because of my pride.

One thing I love about my church, Summit Church, is that its primary focus is to understand and reflect on the Gospel.  I feel blessed that the church has Matt Papa lead our worship, which is amazing.  He wrote a song called "It is Finished" that captures the purpose and importance of Easter.  Here is the music video for the song.  It is graphic, but I think sometimes we need to be reminded of the horrific events Jesus went through for us to make us appreciate the Cross.

Too Much Grace?

Grace.  It's a topic that's been coming up a lot as I prepare for marriage.  Grace-giving is something that I know Brett has been blessed with.  Me on the other hand?  Definitely does not come as easily.  I think part of that is because I've been living by myself for 2.5 years.  I haven't had to think about anyone other than myself so it has most definitely made me more selfish.  When Brett comes into town, sometimes I get irritated because things aren't how they're "supposed" to be.  There's an empty water bottle on the counter and an air mattress and dirty clothes on the floor.  I can't find the remote.  The TV is mostly on ESPN. 

I get irritated. I whine. I get upset.  Brett shows me grace.  Part of me sees God's extension of grace to me through Brett continually giving me grace.  The other part makes me wonder if I'm getting away with sin.  My friend Debbie wrote a post in December about this topic that really stuck with me.  Her husband asked if she thought he extended too much grace to her.  Here's a bit from her post:

"...when he [her husband] doesn't call me out on it [being selfish] but instead lets me be, he in fact isn't helping me grow in maturity and holiness, but he's allowing me to continue in a pattern of sin that shouldn't remain."

Wow.  I haven't forgotten those words because I see that in my life.  Marriage is supposed to be sanctifying, making us more holy.  From what I hear, it exposes the worst of you (because you can't hide from your spouse), but it also is one of the most significant things that allows you to work out your faith. 

While Brett and I need to show each other grace in order to keep our marriage healthy, we also need to hold each other accountable to the man and woman God has created us to be.  It's a balancing act.  You can't have a Godly marriage with only grace because then you're allowing them to continue sinning, but you can't have one with only calling each other out either because that's not displaying God's grace and forgiveness.

Although Brett shows me grace most of the time, he isn't afraid to call me out on being self-centered when I've been on my high horse for too long. I am thankful to be marrying a man who will show me grace, but also isn't afraid to snap me out of it.  As we prepare for marriage, I pray that God will allow me to be more gracious and to not get defensive when Brett calls me out on my sin.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

Justice

Has there ever been a Bible verse that you've read over and over before and know by heart, but read it again and it takes on a new meaning?  Well that's what just happened with me.  God answered Jenn's prayer quickly about me not working tonight, so I took the time to catch up on my Bible in a year.  Here's the verse I came across:

If we confess our sings he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 [emphasis added]

I've seen this verse so much over the course of my life.  Sometimes I have a hard time understanding why God would forgive me of a sin I've committed multiple times.  For instance, I get irritated at work.  It has happened more than once, believe it or not.  Will God really forgive me of every time I've been irritated and sinned?

According to 1 John 1:9, God is not only faithful but he is JUST.  Here are a couple of definitions of something/someone that is just (adjective):

• Guided by truth, reason, justice and fairness
• Legally valid; lawful
• Given or awarded rightly; deserved, as a sentence punishment, or reward 

God is REQUIRED to forgive me my sins and purify me from all unrighteousness because Jesus paid my penalty once and for all.  God would not be just if he punished Jesus AND me for my sins.  Think about it like this.  You're in a courtroom, and you know you are guilty of your crime.  However, Jesus says he will serve your sentence in your place so you didn't have to.  He gives you his clothes of freedom and takes on your shackles.  Someone is serving your sentence; therefore, you cannot be charged with punishment.  It's not just.

I haven't read the books, but I know enough that this makes sense to me (and yes I plan to read the series once life slows down some).  For all of you Hunger Games fans, think about Katniss offering herself as tribute for Primrose. She took Prim's place in the games so that Prim she wouldn't have to face that punishment.  Katniss serves the punishment of fighting in the games.

It's the same with Jesus.  He eternally took my place so that I wouldn't have to face God's punishment.  I never have to serve my sentence.  God sees Jesus when he sees me because Jesus' blood covers my sins.  Since God is just, he has to forgive me not matter what.  He has no choice. 

I'm thankful that God is true to his word, and that his character doesn't change.  I'm thankful that Jesus paid my penalty so I could be in relationship with God.  I'm thankful that the Word is living and teaches me something new no matter how many times I've read or heard the verse. 

New 5-Week Adventure

(This post is pretty vulnerable.  I hope everyone can learn from my trial.)

I am so, so excited about the next five weeks.  My small group has decided to study James: the guide to Christian living.  We went through the first chapter of James last night, and man that chapter was packed with so much useful application.  I wish I had read this chapter while Brett and I were going through his job situation.   The whole chapter is amazing but James 1:2-6 hit me hard last night.  James 1:2-4 says:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

As some of you know, I had a really hard time during those 6 weeks trusting in God's goodness and timing.  In no way did I considered it joy to not know where we were going to be.  I didn't want to wait.   I didn't see any good at the time in our waiting.  Instead of persevering and being disciplined in reading my Bible and praying, I became disciplined in worry.  Oh my goodness.  All I did was worry.  I would wake up with my stomach in knots.  Every time I got a message from Brett, my heart would stop, and I would start going through "What ifs" before even reading his message.

James 1:5-6 says:

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 

I prayed for wisdom and clarity, but I doubted God's timing and that He would give me wisdom.  He wasn't doing things when I wanted him to.  Let me tell you, I completely felt like a "wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."  It was TERRIBLE!!! I was living in fear.  I said all the right things to everyone and Brett.  Saying it is different than believing though.  I forgot God's promises of His love, goodness, compassion, and power.

Isaiah 30:18: Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

Psalm 27:14: Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Luke 12:32: Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.

John 16:33: I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

Luke 22:31-32: Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you Simon, that your faith may not fail.

Oh, the hope in that last one.  Jesus goes before me, praying that my faith will not fail.  What hope knowing that the Son of God, my Savior, is praying on my behalf. 

In addition to studying James, we decided to do accountability groups.  The purpose of the groups is to get to a deeper level praying for each other and holding each other accountable.  We'll meet every week after our study and pray for and with each other.  I must say, I am with an AWESOME group of ladies: Jennifer, Bethaney, and Stacey.  I am so looking forward to our precious time together the next 5 weeks.  I am thankful for my small group.

Confessions of Being Engaged (to a ball coach)

This post may be a little long and vulnerable, but I think anyone who has been engaged can understand where I'm coming from.  Try to make it to the end :)

It's stressful being engaged to someone who doesn't live here, and even moreso to a ball coach.  It's hard to make appointments with vendors because we have to plan around four hours of travel time and recruiting schedules and meetings.  Sometimes, it can be a little lonely and overwhelming because Brett's not here to help or support me. It's also frustrating for both of us because we know there's nothing we can do about it.

I know I've put pressure on Brett to be my only source of affirmation, which always ends up disappointing me.  I've been having a hard time keeping up with my spiritual walk during the engagement because I get so easily wrapped up in the wedding details and the stress of going through this without Brett being here.  I sort of hit a breaking point yesterday.

I should preface this next part by saying that my small group is reading "King's Cross" by Timothy Keller.  I was nervous going into this study because Keller is a heavyweight evangelical writer.  As Megan puts it, Tim Keller is like a ninja; his stuff cuts swift and deep.  I didn't know if his writing would be too much above my head.  Needless to say, it has been one of my favorite books that we've read in small group.  It's been such an easy read but really hard-hitting in terms of my understanding and application of the Gospel.  I would suggest everyone to read it.

This past week's chapters were about how we in the West feel that we are "owed" love. This is long quote by a theologian named William Vanstone that Keller put in the book but stick through it and soak it in:

In false love your aim is to use the other person to fulfill your happiness.  Your love is conditional: You give it only as long as the person is affirming you and meeting your needs...But in true love, your aim is to spend yourself and use yourself for the happiness of the other, because your greatest joy is that person's joy.  Therefore your affection is unconditional: You give it regardless of whether your loved one is meeting your needs.  And it's radically vulnerable: You spend everything, hold nothing back, give it all away...our real problem is that nobody is actually fully capable of giving true love.  We want it desperately, but we can't give it.

So if you're like me, before reading this, my point of view was I can give true love.  I am getting married so of course I can.  Have you not seen how many miles I've driven to be supportive, when I LOATHE driving? However, after reading this part in the chapter, I realized that the past couple of days, I haven't even gotten close to giving Brett true love.  I was relying on him to fulfill my happiness.   What a bummer.  But there's hope.  Continue reading:

What we need is someone to love us who doesn't need us at all.  Someone who loves us radically, unconditionally, vulnerably.  Someone who loves us just for our sake.  If we received that kind of love, that would so assure us of our value, it would so fill us up, that maybe we could start to give love like that too.  Who can give love with no need? Jesus.

Jesus.  Growing up in the church, we were told that if we were asked a question, the answer is always one of three things: Bethlehem, Jerusalem or Jesus.  Jesus.  A name that holds such a sweetness and peace but hasn't crossed my mind often since being engaged.  Jesus is what I need more of because Brett's affirmation, no matter how much he gives it, will never be enough.  Mind blown despite it being such a simple truth that I have heard my whole life.

My eyes were opened to how God has had His hands all over our engagement.  From Mom meeting Austin (our caterer) during an unscheduled visit to the Oaks to the budget for the photographer being less than I expected to being able to book the first person we've talked to for three of the major vendors (photographer, coordinator, caterer), God has provided.  God has been the one who has been with me through this process, despite Brett's absence, and I have been too blind to see it. I got so caught up in the stress of planning and how Brett hasn't been able to be here that I forgot that God is always right there. 

One of Brett's groomsman just got engaged two days ago and said something that reminded me of the commitment Brett and I are making and this process.  He said (about his own engagement):

Remember a marriage is a covenant not just between husband and wife but everyone. So keep us accountable until we get there and when we get there. With all your help, let's keep our eyes on Jesus.

I think I've been trying to do this all by myself emotionally, even though I seem to always talk about the wedding with everyone.  God didn't create us to be isolated.  He created us to be in community.  He knows that's when we feel the most love and satisfaction.  God Himself is in community with the Son and Holy Spirit.  What better example do we need?  I say all of this to ask that you join with Brett and I in prayer.  Please pray that we would continually see God's provision and His presence in this process (especially me as I can get overly stressed).  Pray that we remember to be grateful and keep our eyes on the King and His Cross.

On Repeat: "Come To Me"

I was on my way home from work a couple of weeks ago and heard the song "Hold Me" on KLOVE.  It was unlike any other Christian song I had heard in a long time. Sort of like Colbie Caillat: a fun, relaxed, catchy song with an artist that had a unique tone.  I found out it was Jamie Grace.  If you haven't heard any of her songs, I highly recommend to look her up.

I heard another one of her songs this morning, and it is stuck in my head. The chorus of the song is a paraphrase of a couple of verses that got me through a lot of tough times during and after college.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30

I know I don't say these verses to myself enough when things get hectic and I feel weary from the life's events.  I need to remind myself that Jesus desires me to walk life free of burdens through resting in Him. What truth, grace, and power rest in Him.

Have a great Monday!

Confessions of a Football Coach's Girlfriend

I'm selfish and needy sometimes.  I know.  Shocker to those of you who know me :)  Well it seems to have escalated now that it's football season.  Brett started his season two weeks ago, which means we won't get to see or talk to each other as much.  He's been having to work at least 12 hours a day and his blood is probably caffeine from all the coffee, soda, and 5-hour energy drinks.  Thankful I wasn't called to a job like that.  I like my sleep too much.

Anyway, the past couple of days, I've been craving affirmation from him since we don't get to talk as much.  Last night, after I complained to Brett that I needed more affirmation, I hung up the phone and felt terrible.  Here I was complaining about him not paying enough attention to me, even though he texts me when he can and we talk every night for a couple of minutes.  I know that he is doing what God has called him to do.  He is ministering to the young men that he coaches about work ethic, responsibility, and being a good student and teammate.  He's showing them the love God has for each of them through his actions and caring about not just how they do in football, but how they do in life.  And I'm complaining.  Talk about a wake up call. 

Then I thought, "Well why am I craving affirmation from him so badly?"   I don't like asking myself uncomfortable questions where I have to admit a weakness or a sin, but I know if I don't confront these issues, they'll keep me in bondage.  So I thought.  It didn't take long to realize I put Brett in a position that he was never meant to be in.  I was looking to him for my ultimate affirmation and to fill that need. 

I should be resting in the fact that through Christ, I am a daughter of the King and deeply loved.  God loved me so much that He sent His only Son to die the death I deserve so that I could have eternal life in heaven with Him (John 3:16).  I know it's the most quoted verse in the Bible, but think about it right quick.  I don't know of any parent who would choose to send their only son to die a horrible death for a person who wanted nothing to do with them.  Jesus was beaten so badly before being crucified that he didn't look human (Isaiah 52:13-14).  And why?  So that we, who have sinful hearts that keep us separated from God, can be united with Him. 

Being aware of this and what the Gospel means should make me feel whole and so deeply loved, not the number of times Brett tells me he loves me (that will never be sufficient enough).  I know it is probably something that all couples struggle with: putting the other in the place of God.  I am thankful that God made me aware of this sin, and at the same time, showed me His deep love for me.  Now the task of living in this love day after day.....

À la carte Faith

I'm in the process of reading through the Bible in a year.  I'm using the ESV reading guide, which assigns a couple chapters from the Old Testament and part of one from the New Testament each day.  A couple of days ago, I was in John 3 and one verse jumped out at me (John 3:33): "Whoever has accepted it [Jesus' testimony] has certified that God is truthful."  As a believer, I accept Jesus' testimony the He is who He says He is: the only way to heaven (John 14:6).  Using John 3:33, I have certified that God is truthful.  That means everything He says in His Word is Truth.

Now think about it: EVERYTHING He says in the Bible is Truth.  When I got to thinking about this, I realized that sometimes I have an À la carte faith.  I decide which parts of the Bible I choose to believe depending on what I'm going through.  When everything in my life is going well, I think, "Your love reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies" (Psalm 36:5).  I know He's "working all things out for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28). 

When I'm in a rut or going through something tough, I question whether or not His Word is true.  For instance, I have a hard time believing Him when He says: “Do not worry” (Matthew 6:25-34; Luke 12:22-30) when I’m stressed about money or work.  Or that He is always there and never leaves me when I feel lonely (Deuteronomy 31:6).  When I've sinned, sometimes I don't believe that He has forgiven me and removed my sin as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).

I don’t want to have an À la carte type faith where what I believe about God and His Truth is circumstantial.  I pray that I have the type of faith that makes my circumstances succumb to God’s Word and His Truth.  I want to speak God’s promises over my situation and KNOW that they are true.

I'm thankful that God has challenged me in this area of my faith.  Guess I need to memorize this verse and say it over and over and over and over...

"For the word of the Lord is right and true; He is faithful in all He does." – Psalm 33:4

Spiritual Munchies: Fighting Tempation

I shared this with my small group, but I just wanted to write about it on here because it’s something I think people (including myself) forget about in the busyness of life.  

I've been learning about God's Word in my devotional with Brett, and I found a topic that really stuck out to me like it never has before.  I know a lot of times I question whether I can get through a temptation or a struggle with sin.  Sometimes it seems like there’s no way out.  It's just too hard or we're too deep in the sin to turn around.  I think two passages in the Bible demonstrate how we can overcome these temptations.

The first is Matthew 4:1-11.  These verses deal with Jesus being tempted in the desert by Satan. Each time Satan tempts Jesus, Jesus always says "it is written."  He quotes Scripture to fight Satan.  If  we believe the Bible is truth (which I do), we should really use it to proclaim truth over our emotions, thoughts, or temptations.  Proclaim means "to announce or declare in an official or formal manner."  Sisters, we need to declare God's truth just like Jesus did when he said, "It is written."  Ok, done with my Beth Moore moment.

The second is Psalm 119:11:  "I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you."  I've read this verse so many times over the course of my life, but it meant something different this time.   That’s one of the things I love about God’s Word: His Word is living and active (Hebrews 4:12).  Anyway, the reason the author hid God's Word in his heart is so that he could refuse sin.  This means he relied on God's Word and the truth in it in order to combat temptation.

Given these two passages (and probably many more) I think there is no question as to how we can resist sin and turn the other way: know His Word.  That's why being in God's Word and memorizing Scripture is so important.  When we start feeling tempted, we can declare truth over the situation, just like Jesus did.  

Some people question whether God speaks now.  I would answer, “Ummmmm….YES!”  It may not be audible, but He does speak through His Word.  For example, when I’m starting to feel my blood pressure go up and feel the anger rising, James 1:19-20 comes in my head: "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."  Moments like this just confirm that He is fighting for me and providing a way out of sinning.  If we struggle with something specific, find a verse that speaks truth over that situation and memorize it.  Whenever we start feeling the desire to sin, start saying the verse.  I need to learn to declare God’s truth over the situation, instead of letting me (my emotions) talk to me.

I know it won't be easy, and it's something that I have to work through daily, but at least we can start the discipline of doing this in areas we're struggling.  I mean if Jesus does it, how much more should we be doing it?  Anyway, that's my spiritual munchie for the day.  It's something that I have and still struggle with so I thought you might find it helpful too.