Too Much Grace?

Grace.  It's a topic that's been coming up a lot as I prepare for marriage.  Grace-giving is something that I know Brett has been blessed with.  Me on the other hand?  Definitely does not come as easily.  I think part of that is because I've been living by myself for 2.5 years.  I haven't had to think about anyone other than myself so it has most definitely made me more selfish.  When Brett comes into town, sometimes I get irritated because things aren't how they're "supposed" to be.  There's an empty water bottle on the counter and an air mattress and dirty clothes on the floor.  I can't find the remote.  The TV is mostly on ESPN. 

I get irritated. I whine. I get upset.  Brett shows me grace.  Part of me sees God's extension of grace to me through Brett continually giving me grace.  The other part makes me wonder if I'm getting away with sin.  My friend Debbie wrote a post in December about this topic that really stuck with me.  Her husband asked if she thought he extended too much grace to her.  Here's a bit from her post:

"...when he [her husband] doesn't call me out on it [being selfish] but instead lets me be, he in fact isn't helping me grow in maturity and holiness, but he's allowing me to continue in a pattern of sin that shouldn't remain."

Wow.  I haven't forgotten those words because I see that in my life.  Marriage is supposed to be sanctifying, making us more holy.  From what I hear, it exposes the worst of you (because you can't hide from your spouse), but it also is one of the most significant things that allows you to work out your faith. 

While Brett and I need to show each other grace in order to keep our marriage healthy, we also need to hold each other accountable to the man and woman God has created us to be.  It's a balancing act.  You can't have a Godly marriage with only grace because then you're allowing them to continue sinning, but you can't have one with only calling each other out either because that's not displaying God's grace and forgiveness.

Although Brett shows me grace most of the time, he isn't afraid to call me out on being self-centered when I've been on my high horse for too long. I am thankful to be marrying a man who will show me grace, but also isn't afraid to snap me out of it.  As we prepare for marriage, I pray that God will allow me to be more gracious and to not get defensive when Brett calls me out on my sin.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17