New 5-Week Adventure

(This post is pretty vulnerable.  I hope everyone can learn from my trial.)

I am so, so excited about the next five weeks.  My small group has decided to study James: the guide to Christian living.  We went through the first chapter of James last night, and man that chapter was packed with so much useful application.  I wish I had read this chapter while Brett and I were going through his job situation.   The whole chapter is amazing but James 1:2-6 hit me hard last night.  James 1:2-4 says:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

As some of you know, I had a really hard time during those 6 weeks trusting in God's goodness and timing.  In no way did I considered it joy to not know where we were going to be.  I didn't want to wait.   I didn't see any good at the time in our waiting.  Instead of persevering and being disciplined in reading my Bible and praying, I became disciplined in worry.  Oh my goodness.  All I did was worry.  I would wake up with my stomach in knots.  Every time I got a message from Brett, my heart would stop, and I would start going through "What ifs" before even reading his message.

James 1:5-6 says:

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 

I prayed for wisdom and clarity, but I doubted God's timing and that He would give me wisdom.  He wasn't doing things when I wanted him to.  Let me tell you, I completely felt like a "wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."  It was TERRIBLE!!! I was living in fear.  I said all the right things to everyone and Brett.  Saying it is different than believing though.  I forgot God's promises of His love, goodness, compassion, and power.

Isaiah 30:18: Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

Psalm 27:14: Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Luke 12:32: Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.

John 16:33: I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

Luke 22:31-32: Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you Simon, that your faith may not fail.

Oh, the hope in that last one.  Jesus goes before me, praying that my faith will not fail.  What hope knowing that the Son of God, my Savior, is praying on my behalf. 

In addition to studying James, we decided to do accountability groups.  The purpose of the groups is to get to a deeper level praying for each other and holding each other accountable.  We'll meet every week after our study and pray for and with each other.  I must say, I am with an AWESOME group of ladies: Jennifer, Bethaney, and Stacey.  I am so looking forward to our precious time together the next 5 weeks.  I am thankful for my small group.