Wedding Update: Color Palette

I looked at all my recent posts and noticed that this would be my eighth day in a row had posted on Saturday. Oh well. Seven out of eight days is pretty good.  As I've said before, I signed up for Pinterest before I got engaged.  For those of you who don't know, Pinterest is like a virtual cork board where you can pin your own ideas and browse other users' pins. The nice thing about Pinterest is when you pin a picture, the picture contains a link that takes you to the original site where the picture is located.  This makes it so you don't have to have a bunch of bookmarks.  Great for wedding planning and DIY projects.  I think I've probably said this before but any bride or future bride NEEDS to sign up for Pinterest.

Anyway, colors were the first thing I thought about even before getting engaged. I looked at a whole bunch of color palettes for our wedding.  I really love coral and tan (especially for a June wedding) and plum and gray.  Brett nixed the coral pretty quickly.  The only drawback with purple and gray is that it can be a dark-colored wedding, more like fall than summer.  I found one picture on Pinterest that I just swooned over.  It has the perfect color combination, although my purple will be a little darker.

Lauren Brooks Photography via Style Me Pretty

It's funny the type of faces I get when I say our colors are plum and lime green, but I think it's looks pretty.  The green adds the little summer pop that I want.

I love the suits in the next picture  A little different but I like them.  The color of the bridesmaids' dresses in the bottom pictures are similar to my BM dresses.

Benj Haisch Photography via Green Wedding Shoes

Still trying to look for some more inspiration for the color palette.  If you have any, let me know!

Wedding Update: Planning on Steroids

This weekend was so extremely productive.  I can't tell you how great I feel about how far along we are in the planning process (although I'm sure I'll freak out sometime in the next couple of days).  Brett was able to come into town Friday afternoon.  I have such a wonderful work environment and bosses.  They told me to  go home around 3 to spend some time with Brett.  It had been two weeks since we had seen each other.

Friday night, we did our normal Friday night pizza.  It's a tradition my family had growing up.  We used to watch TGIF and have pizza or little hot dogs while sitting on a mat in the living room.  Brings back wonderful memories.  Hopefully Brett and I will be able to do something like that and create our own traditions.

While we ate and watched TV, we picked a date for engagement pictures: January 7, 2012!!  We'll be taking pictures out at my parents' place and their next door neighbor's, who has a large field and some neat old buildings.  Now I'll have to take Brett clothes shopping since I veto him wearing sweatshirts for all the pictures.  I have been looking at engagement pictures on Pinterest.  Here are a couple of my favorites.

I'm going to ask Dad to build a fire in his fire pit (via mnbride.com)

Of course we have to have a football (via diana elizabeth photography)

Possibility for save the dates (via korielynn.com)

We also tried to brainstorm songs for our first dance.  Brett's first choice was "Heaven" by Bryan Adams (which I'm hoping he was sarcastic). He proceeded to serenade me while using silly gestures.  It is the most I've laughed in a while. He sang a whole bunch of old fashioned, cheesy country songs.  We think we may have found a winner (we tried dancing to it), but we're still searching around.

Saturday, I went dress shopping with most of my bridesmaids, Mom and Oba at Bridal Boutique of North Carolina.  Oh my goodness.  It was so much fun.  Mom wanted me to try on a bunch of different styles: trumpet, A-line, ball gown.  The ball gowns were WAY too much dress. I felt like I couldn't move.

All in all, I tried on seven dresses.  The seventh was the one.  I knew it was soon as I put it on.  Oddly, I didn't cry (a major feat if you know me).  I put on the veil and, oh man, that did it.  Prior to going, I wasn't sure if I wanted to wear a veil, but after that, I'm 100-percent positive that I will be wearing one for the ceremony.  Seven is the number of completion in the Bible so that was extra special.  Natasha asked me if I was saying yes to the dress, to which I responded yes!!

Megan, Natasha, and Jenn did some bridesmaids dress shopping next.  Honestly, this may have been my favorite part of the day.  They didn't want me to see what they were picking out so I sat next to Mom and Oba while they brought a whole bunch of dresses into the dressing rooms.  They all came out at the same time, and I got to pick my favorite one.  It was sort of like a contest.  I wish I would have brought number cards to judge them.

I thought I wanted my bridesmaids to wear different dresses, but Megan, Natasha, and Jenn all liked the same one.  Michelle and Jessica were able to come at the end and try on the dress, which they liked too!  It was amazing because the dress looked wonderful on everyone.  I wish Paige, Laura, Brett's mom Gail, and my other grandma Mimi were there too, but I know they will love my dress and the bridesmaids' dresses.

Us before the adventure began.

Jenn is wearing the dress we chose, except ours will be a different color.

YESSSS!!!!

Such a fun, wonderful day.

The inspiring women in my life, just missing Mimi.

Brett took a three hour nap and played some X-Box, typical fiancé stuff, while I was gone.  We were able to grab dinner with Kyle and Amy Holliday.  Kyle is one of Brett's groomsman.  I hadn't seem Amy pregnant so that was great.  We came back to my apartment and got to see the end of the IU/UK game.  Go Hoosiers!!

On Sunday, Brett and I met with Pastor Jay of First Baptist Church of Cary.  We were required to meet with him in order to get approval to have the ceremony at FBC.  I was really nervous going into the meeting, but Brett said he would do most of  the talking.  I'm typically the one who talks about stuff like this, but it was actually really refreshing and peaceful to give up control and let him lead.  I'll have to remember that for the future ;)

We had a wonderful conversation (apparently I was glowing).  Pastor Jay and his wife were long distance, although not as long as ours, so he understands how hard it can be.  After the meeting, Pastor Jay said he would let his secretary know to put our date (in pen) on the calendar.  We officially have a ceremony location!!!

We went over to Mom and Dad's for lunch because they haven't seen Brett since my birthday.  Of course, Brett enjoyed Mom's wonderful meal, and even moreso her dessert.

All in all, I'd say we had a very productive weekend. It was just the type of weekend that I needed.  Now off to conquering the week!

Weekend Recap

Four posts in a row without pictures is a little much.  If you're like me, half the fun of reading blogs is looking at pictures.

Last weekend, I went back to ECU to play in a reunion ultimate frisbee tournament called Ultimax.  I was sad not being able to watch Brett's game in person (they lost to Delta State 23-28), but I was really excited to see all of the old Pearls.  It had been almost a year since I had seen many of these ladies.  We had a great time getting to hang out and "play" frisbee again.  Here are a couple of pictures from the day.

Probably throwing a nasty break.

Alyssa's layout

Old ECU people and some State ladies.

I went to Pirate's Den Saturday night to hang out with the girls some more.  It had been a long, long time (probably last Ultimax) since I had been in a bar-type environment.  I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself.  I'm glad I went because I got to enjoy more time with the ladies. I didn't realize how much I missed them.

Lovely ladies

Typical Smeat/Jeffy picture

Missed them so much.

Heather seems to be out of practice for cheesing pictures :)

Megan and I went to Grace Sunday morning.  Grace has always felt like family to me. No matter how long I've been away, Pastor Mike and the ladies from the Monday night Bible study I used to go to make me feel right at home.  Lori, one of the ladies from the Bible study, and her family were the first ones to talk to us after the sermon.  I guess her husband Anthony saw Megan and me slip in late. Whoops.  After telling her I was engaged, she just reminded me of all the times the Bible study told me that God had a perfect plan and perfect timing.  She couldn't be more right.  I'm so grateful for their influence in my life during college.

Sunday night, I went to the Oaks at Salem Open House with Mom and five of my seven bridesmaids (we missed you Laura and Paige!).  It was my first real bridal event.  We were able to taste some great food, talk to some vendors, and take silly pictures.  I'm so glad that they got to see the venue.  I had forgotten how beautiful it is.

Meesh, Jess, me, Tash, Meg, and Jenji

Mom has been so much help. Love her!

Fun photo booth pictures with the bridesmaids

Well that's the recap from last weekend.  As I'm writing this, Brett is sitting next to me watching Elf.  I'm going to try on wedding dresses tomorrow, and we're going to talk to the pastor at FBC Cary on Sunday. Should be a fun weekend :)

Confessions of Being Engaged (to a ball coach)

This post may be a little long and vulnerable, but I think anyone who has been engaged can understand where I'm coming from.  Try to make it to the end :)

It's stressful being engaged to someone who doesn't live here, and even moreso to a ball coach.  It's hard to make appointments with vendors because we have to plan around four hours of travel time and recruiting schedules and meetings.  Sometimes, it can be a little lonely and overwhelming because Brett's not here to help or support me. It's also frustrating for both of us because we know there's nothing we can do about it.

I know I've put pressure on Brett to be my only source of affirmation, which always ends up disappointing me.  I've been having a hard time keeping up with my spiritual walk during the engagement because I get so easily wrapped up in the wedding details and the stress of going through this without Brett being here.  I sort of hit a breaking point yesterday.

I should preface this next part by saying that my small group is reading "King's Cross" by Timothy Keller.  I was nervous going into this study because Keller is a heavyweight evangelical writer.  As Megan puts it, Tim Keller is like a ninja; his stuff cuts swift and deep.  I didn't know if his writing would be too much above my head.  Needless to say, it has been one of my favorite books that we've read in small group.  It's been such an easy read but really hard-hitting in terms of my understanding and application of the Gospel.  I would suggest everyone to read it.

This past week's chapters were about how we in the West feel that we are "owed" love. This is long quote by a theologian named William Vanstone that Keller put in the book but stick through it and soak it in:

In false love your aim is to use the other person to fulfill your happiness.  Your love is conditional: You give it only as long as the person is affirming you and meeting your needs...But in true love, your aim is to spend yourself and use yourself for the happiness of the other, because your greatest joy is that person's joy.  Therefore your affection is unconditional: You give it regardless of whether your loved one is meeting your needs.  And it's radically vulnerable: You spend everything, hold nothing back, give it all away...our real problem is that nobody is actually fully capable of giving true love.  We want it desperately, but we can't give it.

So if you're like me, before reading this, my point of view was I can give true love.  I am getting married so of course I can.  Have you not seen how many miles I've driven to be supportive, when I LOATHE driving? However, after reading this part in the chapter, I realized that the past couple of days, I haven't even gotten close to giving Brett true love.  I was relying on him to fulfill my happiness.   What a bummer.  But there's hope.  Continue reading:

What we need is someone to love us who doesn't need us at all.  Someone who loves us radically, unconditionally, vulnerably.  Someone who loves us just for our sake.  If we received that kind of love, that would so assure us of our value, it would so fill us up, that maybe we could start to give love like that too.  Who can give love with no need? Jesus.

Jesus.  Growing up in the church, we were told that if we were asked a question, the answer is always one of three things: Bethlehem, Jerusalem or Jesus.  Jesus.  A name that holds such a sweetness and peace but hasn't crossed my mind often since being engaged.  Jesus is what I need more of because Brett's affirmation, no matter how much he gives it, will never be enough.  Mind blown despite it being such a simple truth that I have heard my whole life.

My eyes were opened to how God has had His hands all over our engagement.  From Mom meeting Austin (our caterer) during an unscheduled visit to the Oaks to the budget for the photographer being less than I expected to being able to book the first person we've talked to for three of the major vendors (photographer, coordinator, caterer), God has provided.  God has been the one who has been with me through this process, despite Brett's absence, and I have been too blind to see it. I got so caught up in the stress of planning and how Brett hasn't been able to be here that I forgot that God is always right there. 

One of Brett's groomsman just got engaged two days ago and said something that reminded me of the commitment Brett and I are making and this process.  He said (about his own engagement):

Remember a marriage is a covenant not just between husband and wife but everyone. So keep us accountable until we get there and when we get there. With all your help, let's keep our eyes on Jesus.

I think I've been trying to do this all by myself emotionally, even though I seem to always talk about the wedding with everyone.  God didn't create us to be isolated.  He created us to be in community.  He knows that's when we feel the most love and satisfaction.  God Himself is in community with the Son and Holy Spirit.  What better example do we need?  I say all of this to ask that you join with Brett and I in prayer.  Please pray that we would continually see God's provision and His presence in this process (especially me as I can get overly stressed).  Pray that we remember to be grateful and keep our eyes on the King and His Cross.

Wedding Update: Good Eats

Wow three days in a row of wedding updates.  Makes it sound like I have so much done. This is the last of my favorite things from two posts ago: food. So if you don't know, I LOVE good food.  I think it's one reason I love watching the Food Network; I get to enjoy the food without consuming any of the calories. 

For our wedding, Brett and I want a relaxed atmosphere where people can mingle and not have to sit next to someone they don't know and wait for the next course (plus we won't have to worry about seating charts or the cost of printing individual menu, escort and place cards).   We also love southern food.  My favorite is BBQ, and he loves shrimp and grits. 

If you read my venue and date post, you might remember me mentioning that Mom met a caterer at the Oaks who served the food we want.  His name is Austin, and he is the owner of Cook Shack Catering.  When we met with Priscilla, our wedding coordinator, she said she just worked a wedding with Austin. He was wonderful, and the food was great. Her bride even found a recipe the week before the wedding and told Austin.  He whipped it up within a week, and apparently it was fantastic.

I was able to meet Austin at the Oaks Open House on Sunday and try his food.   His BBQ and shrimp and grits were ah-mazing! Seriously could have sat there and eaten the whole pig (yes he had a whole pig that we got to pull apart). Like the rest of my vendors, he has such a warm personality.  He told me that Brett and I can come into the kitchen sometime, and he could cook up a bunch of different types of shrimp and grits based on how Brett likes them.  If Brett doesn't like it, he'll go back and fix it another way.  I'm secretly really looking forward to when we do this.

One thing really stuck out to me from our conversation.  I hadn't asked him about the price of hors d'oeuvres until that night. He responded that the wedding day is all about me and Brett, and they already make most of their money on the meal itself.  Because of that, they don't charge much extra for the hors d'oeuvres.  I've checked out many other caterers who jack up the price of hors d'oeuvres in order to make that much more money.  Cook Shack Catering doesn't do that, which I really appreciate, especially considering how large our wedding might possibly be.

Like my previous two vendor meetings, I booked him, and Mom paid the deposit while we stood there eating.  I still can't get over how everything seems to be falling into place.  Feeling God's provision every step of the way so far.

Wedding Update: All About Less Stress

I didn't realize I stressed over the little things.  Well, maybe I did know that, but I didn't realize it came so incredibly easy to me.  One comment from a friend, and within a couple of seconds, my blood pressure is through the roof.  If you want to read about some of the reasons why, look at this.  (I'm working on trying to trust God that at the end of the day, even if the day isn't perfect, Brett's and my marriage will be a testament of His love to our guests.)

After I came to this realization, I decided it would definitely be beneficial to have a day-of wedding coordinator.  I want to be able to enjoy my wedding day free of stress.  I also want my mom, family, and bridesmaids to be able to enjoy it too without having to make sure the vendors are on-time, getting calls from everyone about where to be and what time, and dealing with any fiascoes that may arise that weekend.

When I looked at my budget, I realized that the budget tool I used didn't have hiring a wedding coordinator as a category!  I've spent nights staring at my budget and hours talking to Paige, one of my bridesmaids and lover of budgeting and Dave Ramsey, about the areas I can cut to move money to a new category for coordination.  Talk about stress (my parents have been gracious enough to pay for our wedding so I want to use their money wisely).

I started sending out inquiries to local event planners for day-of coordination.  Most of them started at a price over my budget.  I mentioned this to Lauren, my photographer, and she mentioned Priscilla Erwin of Orangerie Events.  I looked her up and was intrigued by her blog.  I sent her a message about pricing and heard back within 5 minutes! She wins the "Fastest Vendor Response" award.  That was already a good sign to me.

Her Just a Taste package was everything I was wanting AND was within in the budget.  Mom and I decided to meet her at Starbucks.  Let me tell you, this lady is super cute and so southern! I'm hoping that maybe she can give me some wardrobe advice :) She was really organized and took tons of notes.  Like with Lauren, I felt at ease around her.  At the end of the 1.5 hour conversation, I looked at Mom, and we both nodded.  Mom paid the deposit right then. 

I am thankful to God to be able to hire two vendors so far that I feel so comfortable around and that are so attentive.  I never have to wait more than a couple of hours to hear from Lauren or Priscilla.  I know Priscilla will make my wedding weekend/day go smoothly.  You should look her up if you are wanting a fun, reasonable, and experienced wedding planner/coordinator.

Wedding Update: A Few of My Favorite Things

Photographs. Organization. Good Eats. All things that I love.  This post is about the first.

After the venue, a photographer was the first thing I wanted to book.  You see, I have a horrible memory.  I jokingly say that I was traumatized from all the moving I did as a kid, and therefore, have suppressed many memories.  That makes Mom feel bad, so we'll just keep it at I have a horrible memory.  Because I can't seem to remember things, photographs have always been important to me, as they help jog my memory and remind me of things that have happened.  That's one reason why I love scrapbooking: I get to write the commentary shortly after the pictures have been taken.  I also know that on my wedding day, I won't be able to see or remember everything so I want to have a great photographer to capture Brett's and my special day.

I sent out probably around 15 or 20 emails to local photographers. I knew photographers were expensive, but I didn't realize how expensive they actually are.  My blood pressure would rise from anxiety every time I received another email showing me the wedding packages and pricing.  I'm definitely learning a lot about the wedding industry.  If you are a new bride in the Triangle area, let me know, and I can give you approximate prices of many of the vendors (e.g., venues, coordinators/planners, and photographers) around here.

To make a long story short, I was on Facebook and saw my friend Sara Register tagged in a wedding album by Lauren Mann Photography, one of the photographers that the owner of the Oaks recommended and whose work I really liked.  I sent Sara and the bride a message asking what they thought about Lauren.  They only had wonderful things to say about how kind, professional, and attentive Lauren is.  I decided to contact Lauren. I heard back in a couple hours!!

(Ok, let me just add an aside here.  I cannot tell you how important timely responses are to me.  They say so much about the vendor and the interaction you will have with them if you decide to book them.  It is one of the things I take into account when thinking about who to book.)

Lauren seemed so nice in her emails and had fantastic packages and pricing.  When I saw the smiley face in the email, I knew we would become fast friends.  We decided to meet at Starbucks and go over more details.  We hit it off immediately.  Conversation came effortlessly, and we stayed at Starbucks for 3 hours just talking.  One thing I love about her is she not only has working relationships with her couples, but builds real friendships.  Needless to say, I booked her on the spot. If you would like to check out her work, click here.

I am so excited about being able to work with her.  And not to mention, I really want to meet her sons Parker and Beckett.  Beckett sounds like a real charmer :)