I have learned so much about myself. I am selfish and needy. I often rely on Brett to fill the need that only Jesus can fill. There are definitely many times in the past year where I can say I have made Brett an idol. After moving to a new place (TWICE) where I didn't know many people, Brett was my only friend in the beginning. Poor guy. We went pretty much right into football season after we got married. He would work so hard 16 hours a day. When he'd get home, I would want to talk his ear off since I didn't see anyone all day with working from home. All he wanted to do was unwind. There would be many weeks where Brett would be the only person I would see. If I didn't get enough conversation with Brett, I would feel alone, forgetting that Jesus never left me for one moment.
Brett has shown me what God's grace and love looks like. I am a control freak. There were and still are moments I would mother Brett instead of respecting and treating him as my husband. He would take it in stride. He forgives, moves on, and doesn't bring up past mistakes. It reminds me of Pslam 103:12: "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he [God] removed our transgressions from us." It is something that I am in the process of learning and living out.
No one really tells you what marriage is going to be like. I think our culture romanticizes love so, so much. Marriage and loving someone every day is a choice. There were days I didn't "like" Brett, but I made a commitment to him before God that I would choose to love him on not only the easy days, but also the hard days. Don't get me wrong, marriage is very romantic and wonderful. It's the best thing in the world to have someone to go through life with and to challenge you. It also takes work, work I am looking forward to the rest of my life.
Here's to many more years of joys and struggles to share with my best friend! I love you Brett.
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