One of my purposes for writing this two part series is to make sure that new moms don't feel alone. That is especially true with the lessons in today's post. These are all thoughts that I've had. Sometimes I've felt alone when I think these thoughts, but I know that's not true. Today's post may seem like complaining, but I think they are important points to mention.
Lesson #6: Everyone will have an opinion/advice, but you know your child best.
I
have received a lot of advice and opinions about how I should raise
Henry. In most cases, I solicited the advice. I appreciate all of
the support and opinions and have tried a lot of them. The thing I want to
tell new moms is that you know your child best. What works for someone
else's child, may not work for yours. And that is OK. Take all of the
advice as a sign that you are loved and people want to help. Don't let
it bog you down.
Lesson #7: Daddy will most likely father differently than you mother.
This
is a lesson I'm still learning. I feel like since I'm with Henry all
day, I know him best, which is probably true. When I tell Brett
something about Henry and he doesn't do it, I often get frustrated. I
have to remember that it's alright that Brett parents a little
different on the small things. There is a reason God gave children mommies and daddies. We
each have different roles at this point in the baby's life. Instead of being frustrated, I have to
remind myself how blessed I am that Brett desires to hold, change, and
love on Henry. He loves Henry, just like I do. He is a fantastic dad,
even when he doesn't do exactly as I say.
Lesson #8: You may get tired of hearing, "This too shall pass," but it's true.
Until
about one week ago, Henry had a terrible time falling asleep at night.
I kept on hearing, "This too shall pass." At that moment in time, it
would frustrate me. I want it to be done now. Why couldn't Henry be
like other babies and sleep all the time? Instead, he would be awake
almost all day and be so tired at night that he couldn't fall asleep.
But you know what? It IS passing. He IS getting better. His screaming
at night is calming down. While he may not sleep a lot during the day,
he is learning.
Lesson #9: You may not like your baby sometimes.
And
it makes you feel like a terrible mom. You are not a terrible mom. In
the beginning, there were many evenings where I had to hand Henry off
to Brett because I just couldn't deal with any more. I think it was
healthy for me, Henry, and Brett. I could regain my composure and
breathe. Henry couldn't sense my frustration. Brett could learn how to
soothe Henry. Honestly, it saved me from a lot of anger and contempt
for Henry. By taking those moments to myself, I am able to be a better mama for Henry. Taking a step back for a second isn't something that you should be ashamed of.
Lesson #10: Love, love, love on your little one.
This
one is a given and doesn't need much explanation. Let your little one fall asleep in your arms every once
in a while. Give as many kisses as you can. Get lots of pictures.
Take in every moment, because it does go by so quickly.
There are plenty of other things that I'm learning, but not enough time in the day to write about them. Motherhood is hard and has created a lot of tears, but one that brings me great joy and purpose. I love my little Henry!
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